The Great Fighter

It was June last year when we were so delighted to share the news that we will be having baby no. 2. It’s something we planned. Even Bubuy is ready na for his new role as Kuya kasi he always tells everyone “Big boy na ako eh.. sempre kasi kuya na ako e!”. Everybody is happy. We prayed for it, and God blessed us.

We confirmed on my 20th week that we will be having a boy for the second time. I honestly feel some sort of disapointment kasi sabi ng ob ko a month before, parang 90% girl daw based on my ultrasound. So mejo pinaasa at umasa na talaga ako sa Bibay e. Quota na sana e..still, we welcomed Biboy! Our Bubuy’s baby brother!

I was scheduled for a doppler ultrasound since I was considered on high risk kasi may family history kami ng hypertension.. it was a Saturday of September. Ang tagal ko naghihintay nun kasi madaming nagpapacheck up tsaka ibang OB ang nagpeperform nung procedure though andun din naman si Dra. Reyes (my OB-gyne) that time. Mag isa lang ako, wala ako kasama. Then when it was my turn to be examined, the doctor calls for my OB’s attention. I heard her say, “Doc tignan mo, may nakikita akong bukol sa batok”. Nagulat ako and got scared. Sabi ko pa nga, “anong bukol po yun?” But she didn’t answer me right away.. sabi nya lang si Doc Reyes na daw ang mag explain sa akin. So after the scan, I stayed pa dun sa waiting area before ako tawagin para sa mismong consultation. Kinakabahan ako. I called Genomer right away. Good thing, he was already on his way. Sakto naman dumating na sya nung tinawag na ako.

I could still remember the exact words na sinabi samin ng OB ko. “Hindi natin alam kung matutuloy pa yung pregnancy” I cried instantly. I was trembling. She then explained that Biboy have a spina bifida, meningocele. His spinal cord did not fully closed and caused a lump at the back of his neck. The defect is a congenital condition. And then we asked kung paano nangyari yun. Sabi it maybe due to low folic acid pero nagtake naman daw ako nun so it maybe chromosomal. It happens daw talaga, hindi nadedevelop ng maayos. But I still cannot believe this is happening. Hindi ko matanggap na may abnormality kay Biboy. Despite the baby’s condition, I still have to continue my vitamins and to still take extra care. My monthly check ups were turned into every 2week evaluation so she could closely monitor me and Biboy’s condition.

We went home with a very heavy heart. My eyes were swelling dahil sa sobrang pag iyak. The pain was like losing a loved one. I kept on thinking kung may mali sa mga nagawa namin para maging ganun ang condition ni Biboy. Sa ganitong panahon, palibhasa’y naaralan at mga maytungkulin sa loob ng Iglesia.. that night about 10 or 11 in the evening, pumunta kami ng kapilya. We knelt and bowed our heads in a prayer. I never saw or heard Genomer cried so much.. I guess the pain is so unbearable. We were both weeping. We were helpless. Ito lang ang magagawa namin.. ang manalangin. Humingi rin kami ng panalangin kay Ka Boyet (our then, resident minister). He advised us that we were always on the positive side. No matter what. At syempre, magpatuloy lang sa pagtupad ng tungkulin. It was very uplifting. It gave another hope and strength. Nagtakda kami ng panata.

The following days were never easy, I had to continue working as advised by my doctor. Para daw madivert ang attention ko at hindi ko masyadong isipin. Its hard. I feel like crying everytime lalo na when Biboy moves inside me. (Napakalikot pa naman!) Yung feeling na naawa ako sa sarili ko. Di ko alam if its because of the hormones dahil buntis ako. Can’t help it.

Pero, totoo talaga e, ang pagtupad ng tungkulin ay kaaliwan sa buhay. Sa pagsamba nakakakuha ng panibagong lakas at pag-asa. Sabi nga, yung inaakala mong “pinakamalubha” ay hindi kailan man siyang pinakamalubha. And then I realized,  oo nga naman. God is with us. “Kung ang Diyos ay gumagawang may kabagsikan, gumagawa rin syang may kahabagan. Hindi Siya nasisiyahang gawing mahirap ang buhay.” We just need to wait for hope to appear. God loves us. Hindi Niya kami pababayaan.

Accept and move on. Tuloy ang buhay.  Yung kapag nakikita nila kami, they won’t even think na meron kami dala dalang mabigat na suliranin. Magaling lang siguro kami magdala ng problema. Pero dahil tao lang, I do sometimes think of what negative things might happen. Dumating na ako sa point na tanggap ko na kahit ano ang ibigay sa amin ng Diyos. Inisip ko na nga rin na mas ok na mawala sya as early na nasa tiyan ko pa sya, kesa naman makita ko pa sya, mabubuhay and then, mawawala. But God has other plans for us. On my congenital anomaly scan, we’ve learned that all of Biboy’s internal organs were ok. Heart, kidneys are all good. Even his facial features ok naman..pogi nga daw e :). His arms and legs were normal and not elongated. His growth is normal, so my doctor decided to go “aggressive”. I was then scheduled to deliver ceasarean. Kahit kayang kaya naman daw ideliver ng normal, we need to take extra precautions dahil sa condition ni Biboy. We’re all going to do everything for the safe delivery of Biboy.

January 10, 2018 11:00am. Biboy was born at Antipolo Doctor’s Hospital via C-section. We named him GRANT DUSTIN. 

Grant meaning “great”. Dustin meaning “fighter”. Our little great fighter Biboy! Despite the pain from the operation, my heart fills with so much joy at the sight of him. Ito na sya, after ilang months nakaraos na kami. I cried, looking back to what we’ve been through. God is good to us. Hindi Niya kami pinabayaan ni Biboy.

But then, we still have to face the problem. The problem, we’ve prepared ourselves with. But I guess, no matter how we’re ready, we will never be prepared for something we hope that’s not happening.

Seeing him in his condition was like having a knife stucked in my chest. But we have to be strong for him just like how he fight to survive. His neurologist had positive feedback. The mass on Biboy’s back may not require immediate operation but still for monitoring. He underwent several test and everything went well. Of course we were so happy with the results. We were just waiting for his cranial ultrasound before we were both be discharged. And then the results came.. He was diagnosed with hydrocephalus.

I cried. But we have to accept that God gave us this battle because He knows we can get through it. He will not give us a cross we cannot carry. Sabi nga ni Genomer sakin, grabe din inaasahan sa atin ng Ama kasi sobrang bigat nitong binigay Niya sa atin.  A friend of ours reminds us that God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers. Pagsubok lang ito. Kaya namin ito at malalagpasan namin ito.

A day before his first month, naihandog namin sya. Si Ka Boyet ang naghandog. I can still remember his prayer for Biboy, very personal because he prayed that God will heal my baby. Its not the usual prayer ng paghahandog. Finally, Iglesia Ni Cristo na rin si Biboy. We were ready for anything. Bahala na kung ano ang mangyari, ang mahalaga, magkakasama na kami sa loob ng Iglesia.

THE BATTLE CONTINUES…

Biboy was advised to be examined thru MRI due to his hydrocephalus and meningocele but was delayed because he was admitted for having broncho pneumonia last February. But he did not get fully recovered because we learned that he has swallowing problems related to his meningocele.

For the second time today, he was admitted for the same reason.  But fortunately, he was been able to be scanned thru MRI. The result was discussed to us by his neuro surgeon. The good news is, he doesn’t have hydrocephalus. But then,a part of his brain was stuck at lump on his back since his spinal cord was not fully closed. The function of that part was for swallowing. He needs to undergo operation to remove the mass and repair the affected area of his brain.

For a moment, we worry about how it can affect his growth but we accepted the results positively. Of course, we also worry for his financial needs for the operation. We were in and out of the hospital since January. We are not wealthy people and the procedure will costs a lot. But then, I know God will provide. He will never leave us.

I’m sharing this post to everyone not for us to be pitied, but to serve as an inspiration to those who like us are in the midst of life’s trouble, that this is an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow, for when endurance is fully developed, you will be ready for anything.

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